Why?

So the events of the last month and a half have had me asking God "why" a lot lately. I asked Him in a pleading way, I begged, I yelled at Him, I asked nicely with a heartfelt please, I listened, I looked for signs in the sky, I wondered if my dreams meant anything, I wasn't getting anything. This past weekend I spent some time in a truck doing some driving. I started paying attention to what God was telling me. I had some quiet time. Every time I got bored and tried to listen the radio I could find nothing to satisfy my desire for entertainment. I had no peace listening to the radio. It mattered not what I listened to. Country, classic rock, Christian, pop.....no peace. So eventually I just killed the radio and tried to pay attention to what God was trying to say. It was much like the still small voice after the whirlwind, earthquake and whatnot else.

Did God really start to speak to me in an audible voice? Not really. Did He communicate with me? I believe so. What did He say? What I heard was myself asking "why?"....His reply? "I might tell you "why" someday....I might never tell you but that is not the point. The point is, do you trust me? Do you trust Me with your life? Do you trust Me with your future? Do you trust Me enough to spend time with Me aside from your regular request sessions? I am jealous of the time you spend thinking of other people and yourself. I am your God and I want to spend time with you."

So I listened. I spent time with Him and listened some more, I did some talking, I prayed, I worshipped. God and I had some time together and to some it might not seem like a whole lot but to me it was great! The bond I felt with my God those hours on the road between Bemidji and MacGregor reminded me that He is in charge and that He has a plan for me and that that Godly plan is a good one. It is up to me to trust Him and hang on for the ride! It's going to be one heck of a ride!